Alternative Natty/Page2

Pain
The years passed in something of a blur, though every now and then the intolerable reality of my situation got to me and I had hysterics. Master beat me for that. Master does not tolerate emotion from me.

I cooked and cleaned, as Master said that was all a woman was fit for. I learned to open my legs, give a blow job, or submit to a beating on command. That was any time. Literally. He woke me up in the middle of the night for a beating, just because.

More, I learned submission. I no longer had much of a will of my own. All that was before was gone. There was only Master and my ineffectual attempts to obey always, to ease the pain as much as possible, and to avoid HIM whenever I could.

I bowed when he walked into the room. I knelt when he spoke to me. I never, ever raised my eyes to him or spoke unless he asked me a question. All I was was his, and his alone.

Once, I tried to escape. As Master gradually became convinced my will was properly subjugated, and as he wanted me to do more chores, he allowed me the run of his house. Gradually, I summoned up the last traces of individuality in me in a desperate bid for freedom.

I studied the hinges on the front door for a long time. I secreted a screwdriver. Don't think that was easy. I got out, and started to run. I was naked, as always. I think I was about seven or eight then, but I don't know. Master never let me know how time was passing.

But there were so many traps, so many gates. I didn't get through very many. Some of Master's guards caught me quickly and brought me back. After I was beaten senseless, Master locked me up.

After that, I found myself running again and again. I didn't know why. Each time I was brutally punished, but I kept doing it.

Finally, Master said he was running me through the holodeck. And the damn thing can make you do things, I guess. And it made me run. Again and again and again. Trying everything I could think of. All fruitless.

Then he beat me again, to make sure I understood the lesson. There was no escape. I belonged to him. That was right, after all. I knew better than to disobey Master. Trying to run was really bad.

After that, there was really no me.